We’re hoping you’ll share some laughs with us here on April Fool’s Day. This year all the jokes come courtesy of JK Rowling’s young wizard and his friends.


Q: Why doesn’t Voldemort wear glasses?
A: Nobody nose.

Q: On a scale from one to ten, how obsessed with Harry Potter are you?

A: About 9 3/4


I say, I say. Voldemort’s got no nose.

  • Voldemort’s got no nose? How does he smell?



Q: What do Harry’s potion pot and Harry’s best friend have in common?
A: They’re both cauldron.

Q: Where did Dumbledore hide his army?

A: Up his sleeve-y


Arthur Weasley’s been sacked by the Ministry of Magic. He’s going through a bad spell at the moment. 


Q: Why was Draco Malfoy put in detention? 

A: He cursed in class.


Did you hear about the beautiful witch who used the Avada Kedavra curse? She was drop-dead gorgeous. 


Q:What does Harry Potter use to get rid of a rash? 

A: A tube of Quit-itch. 


Knock, Knock

  • Who’s There?

You Know

  • You Know Who?

That’s right – it’s Lord Voldemort.


What did Hagrid say when he named his pet iguana?
You’re a lizard, Harry.

Q: Why doesn’t Harry’s godfather tell him any jokes?

A: Because he’s Sirius.


Mad Eye Moody was a really bad teacher – he couldn’t control his pupils.


Q: What would you call Harry Potter with a beard? 

A: Hairy Potter.


Snape: Voldemort’s still alive!

Dumbledore: Are you serious?

Snape: No, I’m Severus.


Q: How do Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle get into Hogwarts?
A: They slither in.

Q: How did the mythical beast get into Hogwarts?

A: Through the Griffin door.


Q: How did the headmaster get into Hogwarts?

A: Through the Dumble door.


What! You don’t think these Harry Potter jokes are funny? There must be something Ron with you.


If you’re looking for more jokes, check out last year’s library themed rib-ticklers here: Library Jokes? They’re Long Overdue!